Well it is Christmas Eve-Eve.  Time keeps marching on.  My tree is up, the decoration are hung and the cookies are baked. (No cards this year)  I am more in the Christmas spirit as it gets closer, but tears come to my eyes as well.  Finding Craig's stocking was tough, hanging our "First Year Together 1980" on the tree was tougher.  Certain songs are hard to listen too, but it is all part of healing and I know that.  Tears are not always sad, tears are happy too, remembering the good times, happy times.  I still miss sooo much.  Oops here come those tears!!

Emily's birthday was on December 4 and I know that what a tough day for her.  Another first.  Each first that we share is like opening a wound and waiting for it to heal again.  She and Kyle then had their first anniversary on the 13th.  Christmas is in 2 days and then HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  I just have to BELIEVE that 2010 has got to be a whole lot better that 2009. 

I did have surgery and I am still recovering.  I go back on the 31st ( New Year's Eve) to have the final drain removed and then go to Dr. Cort to figure out what kind of treatment is best for me to be on for Crohn's.  I have to say I am very upset that after 15 years of keeping my Crohn's under control it is now flaring up.  I hope I do not end up having to have more surgery or worst yet another bowel resection.

I am hoping to get together with some of Craig's work friends after the first of the year.  That would be so nice.  I miss see them.  They were such a big part of our lives and were and still are so good to me.

I have been keeping busy writing my book.  I just wrote half of chapter 4 today.  It is a long process but I hope when it comes out it is a great success and inspires many and helps fund meso research.  I am also going to be more involved with the Simmons Firm as they are going to start a Meso Foundation as well.  I hope to have an intricate role in that. 

I am also planning on going to Aruba in March.  Craig and I have a timeshare down there.  It will be my first time down there without him.  My sister Phyllis and her husband Lee may be going with me....otherwise I will be looking for someone to go with me....I don't want to go alone!!

I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Healthy New Year.

BELIEVING

Shelly

p.s.  Jim Klopstien passed away last week.  Deb is still doing well...YEAH!