Days and months have come and gone, and I'm missing you! 

Missing my friend, co-worker, and the person that God used to show me men were okay, and they could be wonderful husbands and fathers.  

At times I can hear his voice approaching my door and I ready myself to "banter" with him (which was our norm).  I miss the "wave" - it wasn't a parade float wave - or a beauty queen wave  - he didn't move his fingers up and down.  His hand was angled sideways and it just went down with a quick whip.   

I miss his even-headediness - he was practical and straight-forward - he didn't mince words but he choose them carefully.  

I have seen him in the car next to me in my commute into work.  I had a dream that was so real, he was coming back to work after being gone for a while from being sick (like he had done in the past) but when I woke I knew my friend was not coming back.

Until the Friday just before Shelly returned from her trip I had not mourned Craig.  I had called the house before and got the answering machine with his voice...but it was that night that my heart understood my friend was gone.  The tears flowed and they have been flowing since, and that is okay because it brings healing.   

We all go through the grieving process differently, and mine was just delayed, and maybe you are or haven't grieved him; maybe by me writing this it will help you start your process or help you know it is okay to move forward.   

I'm still praying and believing,  Love you Shelly, Emily & Kyle! 

Carol<><