These past two months (almost) have been filled with sooo many emotions I really could not put them into one blog as I know I would miss many.  Today is going to be about finding Shelly.  These past several weeks have been odd for me.  I have never been just "Shelly".  I was always mom & dad's Shelly or Craig's Shelly, but never JUST SHELLY!!  It is strange.  I am trying very hard to be happy in my own skin and finding MY place in the world.

This path has already found twists and turns that I hadn't expected, emotions I don't like to feel (but are very real), questions that I don't have answers for (yet), and feelings that I am not sure how I am suppose to deal with all of the time.  But I am learning more and more about myself everyday.  I think I am stronger than I gave myself credit, although I am not as strong as MANY of you think I am   I find myself wanting more for myself NOW!  I am not a patient person....I guess I always knew that.  I want to keep moving forward, even if it hurts.  It does hurt to move forward, because by moving forward you give up little pieces of the past.  Physical pieces that is.  A simple example is taking Craig's name off countless accounts, forms and bills...each time I do this, it is like I am erasing him somehow.....I cannot begin to tell you how hard that is to do....

But, by doing all of these things I am having to learn to be me, just me.  That is a scary thing sometimes.  I can say I have made strides in some areas and baby steps in others, but I feel that I am healing and moving forward.  I know that would make Craig happy and that will make me happy again one day too!!

Believing...Shelly

p.s.  Emily and Kyle pick up their "baby" (puppy) on Saturday.  She is VERY cute.  Her name is Hazel and she is already about 10 pounds.  Pictures will be posted by somebody when they get her.