It has been one month since Craig's death.  Although, for me it feels like I have been losing him since October of 2008.  I think that is when my REAL grieving began.  Not including the multipul times in between when I thought I may loose him and the SHOCK phase of of 1998.  I know I wore my emotions on my sleeve for many months leading to his passing.  Crying came easy and fear, anger and the thought of being alone was never far behind.

But as I said before I have channeled my anger into a positive thing...the MESO Foundation.  I will soon be working again to help find a cure.  I will try to stop the import of metric tons still leagally being imported into the USA and hopefully in my lifetime I will see a change for the better.  In June at the Symposium I will challenge all patients and caregivers to do the same.  To turn their anger into action.

I really think I am going to be ok.  I miss Craig of course!!  But I know from our many talks he would be proud of me for not crying and curling up in a ball and stop living.  He wanted me to move on and be happy and I am doing that for him as well as for me. (as tears are running down my face)   I am going to go to Michigan see Brent (Kyle's) brother graduate from U of M with his Law Degree.  He is in the  top of he class!  I'm so proud of him.  I will see my mom and dad and maybe my sisters, I will only be in 2 nights.  (baby steps)

I have to confess, I am having trouble with thank you notes!!!  I will try to get them out, they are bought but none are written.  Please be patient and all of you know how thankful I am for all you have done and continue to do for me and my family.  I once heard a thank you note can never be sent out too late......so mine my be a test of time. 

Believing.....Shelly