I was thinking maybe I should add a new category...Shelly's Update    I am doing as well as can be expected.  I really think, now as I have gone to ONE group counseling, I am further along than most.  So many have been living with their pain for over a year or more before seeking help...so sad.  I think people were amazed when we went around the table and gave our name and how long it has been since our spouse passed away and I said 3 weeks!

I really think I have been grieving the losing of Craig for a along time.  So the SHOCK part of grief happened to me in 1998.  I think on their 4 step wheel of grief I am on step 3 Disorganization!! Scattered thoughts, forgetfulness (at least now I can blame it on something), picking things up and putting them back down, not really sure what to do with them, etc.

But, I still miss Craig beyond measure.  His touch, his smell, his caring voice and reassurance.  EVERYTHING!!  Craig did give me so much.  I think, no I know, he has even helped me to grieve.  We had MANY talks about his passing, about his thoughts and my thoughts and my fears.  We cried together (mostly me) but he wanted me to move on with my life and be happy.  So I find comfort in that.  When I went to the support group, people were so sad and some seemed so dependent on it (going over and over)!!!  I was rubbing peoples back and handing them tissues.  So I will go again, but I am not sure how much I will get out of it. 

On another note:  I am going to be grandma....to a DOG!!!  Due May 31. Kyle & Emily are VERY excited.  I am going to go shopping for puppy items now.  So I will write later.

Believing...Shelly

p.s.  Please pray for our friend Deb Rolerkite & her family who just found out she has aggressive lung cancer. She is a non-smoker and is in shock.