Well it is about 2am and I could have sworn I just heard Craig call "Shell"!  So I bolted straight up and said "What, are you okay?"  Old habits are hard to break....  So now is as good as time as any to put some of my thoughts out to all of you.

I really didn't know what to expect on Saturday.  How the place was going to look?  Emily and I went into much detail about how we had hoped it would look, but believe it or not in the 105 year history of the Art Museum, that was the first memorial/celebration of life ceremony!  I was not sure how I would be emotionally or how I would respond when I saw all of you.  I can confess now that I had people watching out for me waiting for a signal to get me the hell our of there!!  I was really afraid of falling apart or just wanting to be left along.  Fortunately neither was true.  I found comfort in your presence and appreciated all of your effort to share Craig's life with us.

I hope everyone got a glimpse into parts of Craig's life they were unaware off.  His life was so much more than cancer.  Cancer in some small way just let others realize what a great and wonderful man he was.  I think all of the speakers did such a great job to help you see how far reaching his kindness, laughter and love stretched. 

Moving on is difficult.  I still have family with me which is a HUGE blessing.  I start grief counseling on Thursday for young widows!!  YIKES!  It has been 3 weeks and in someways it seems like 3 days and in others 3 years....I miss him so much!  That is one thing I cannot find word to describe.  

Believing, hoping and praying my heart will one day begin to heal....Shelly

p.s.  Several people have asked me for a copy of Emily's eulogy.  If more people want it I may just put it on the blog.  I still look at the blog daily.  Don't forget me!!