Shelly, please know that although we can not possibly know what you are feeling, there are many like myself who are out here trying to send you the strength that you need to get through this stage.  I sit here with tears streaming as I type this, wanting somehow to comfort you, provide your what you need to get through this stage.  Please accept this as a long distance hug.   You and Craig have provided so much to so many, hopefully that will help shore you up through this stage.  Draw upon your strength and your purpose...sending love, hope, and prayers for peace to you, to Craig and to Emily and Kyle.